The Journey (Part III)

As I began to give pieces of my heart away, there was still a large part of my heart that I was keeping to myself.  In doing so, I only felt my own pain.  However, from the minute that I entered Hospital Central de Maputo, my life was forever changed as I gave away the remaining portion of my heart.  In return, I was filled with passion, love, hope, and joy. 

6/21/2011

Some of us left for Maputo's hospital.  It was so sad, but my heart is totally there.  I got to go inside the oncology building with Alice, Mrs. Mortensen, and Sue.  First, we saw a room of out patients receiving treatment.  Then there was a room of women who were very ill and literally dying before my eyes.  We didn't spend too much time there because they were very unwell and couldn't really handle visitors.  In the next room were three women.  Two of them were younger women probably in their twenties.  I will never ever forget their hungry, hurting eyes.  I took one of the women's hands.  Here name was Nelly.  I could tell that she was in pain, but, oh, how she loved having someone there for her.  I held onto her hand tightly, and she did not let got.  We prayed for the women in the room, and it was truly amazing..  Never in all of my life have I seen people love prayer so much!  It was heartbreaking thought because the one woman actually had to ask Alice to bathe her.  Nobody takes the time to care for her.  Oh, how I would LOVE to take care of these pained people!  It hurts my heart to see, but it also calls my heart to help them. 

In the next room there were some young mothers with their babies who were sick with cancer.  On top of that, one baby contracted malaria in the hospital.  One woman brought her little girl to the hospital because her daughter, Joanna, had a tumor that was closing her mouth almost entirely resulting in Joanna not being able to breathe.  They have been at the hospital for over a month.  The mom is about to have a baby, and they have had no contact with their family at home.  To their family, they could very well be considered dead.  They must be feeling so alone!  This is only one family's troubles too!  

At the hospital:

• Bugs are horrible
• Rats run around
• The babies don't have diapers
• The patients don't have warm clothes for the cold nights
• The medications administered are the leftover treatments from the U.S. and other countries
• The rooms are filthy
• The women have to share the beds with their children

The conditions that these beautiful people live in and are treated in are horrible!  Many of them will die, yet this is the best they have in the entire country...

We went on to another room of women.  They were delighted to receive bracelets and prayer.  Such a meager yet powerful gift.  It was very humbling.  I gently massaged a young woman's back, and she seemed to become so peaceful.  The physical touch that I could offer was enough to light up her eyes and make her feel loved.  Yes, that is what I can do!  Why do I feel like I can do nothing?  Truly there is a mission in this world for me.  I believe it is to tend to the sick and hurting.  Lord, lead me to the place where I can do that best!  Being at the hospital really gave me a feeling of purpose and hope for my life.  I am really interested in going into the medical field.  However, there is something even greater than tending to a person's physical needs.  I loved that at the hospital, I could hug, kiss, and pray for the people.  I desire to tend to people's physical needs, but mostly I want to tend to their heart needs. 

There were men in the next room whom we were able to pray with.  Lastly, we went into a room where there were five very sick men.  There was an albino man who had a very bad infection/tumor.  His whole lip and jaw was open and exposed.  It smelled horrible and it really was as if he was just rotting away.  Another man was emaciated and had fluid flowing from basically every opening in his body.  There was a young guy about my age named Fernando who had to have one leg amputated due to the cancer that was ravaging in his body.  He was so sick, thin, and weak.  In fact, he hadn't been able to move his bowels in three weeks.  He was very uncomfortable!  Alice asked me to pray for these men, especially Fernando.  She cares so deeply for these hurting people, and she truly is an inspiration.  I felt so honored to people to lift these men and women up to God in prayer. 


We went outside where some of the team was playing with the sick children.  I sat with them as they got a snack, and little Joanna sat in my lap.  She had a little port in her hand for receiving treatment, and she held her hand up the whole time because she was in such pain.  With her other hand she grasped mine.  Then she wanted to go back to her mother, so I carried her inside.  When I was exiting the hospital, there was a woman leaving who had just received treatment.  I will never forget her words.  She looked at me with pleading eyes and said, "Pray for us!"  I never ever want to forget these people.  Until the day I die, I want these people to be in my heart.  Forever and ever!
 

 

The best thing happened at the very end of the hospital visit.  There was a young woman standing at the bottom of the stairs to the hospital.  Alice was talking to her, and the rest of us were hanging out in the surrounding courtyard.  Alice left her to go do something else, so I decided to give her a hug.  She was delighted!  I came to find out that her name is Maninha.  She has lymphatic cancer and HIV.  The medicines that she has to take are not mixing well and, as a result, her brain is affected.  Also, her cancer treatment caused a problem with the veins in her wrist, and she had to have a surgery on her wrist.  She is only twenty years old. , and she has a four year old daughter.  As I stood there embracing her, she asked me in Portuguese to pray for her wrist.  I took her in my arms and prayed for her.  Instantly, I had a friend.  I only knew her for a very short time, but I felt like we were best friends.  We did not separate until I left.  We linked arms and our fingers intertwined.  I love Maninha.  Leaving her was so hard!  I started tearing up.  I wanted to take her home with me, love her, and take care of her.  She instilled so many emotions in my heart--emotions I hadn't experienced in a very long time!  That night as I lay in bed, I cried.  I cried for Maninha.  I prayed and cried for the suffering to be taken away.  I cried because I loved. 

 
Why do I feel called to sacrifice myself and live in the dirt with people that break my heart? 

If physical riches and comfort were what make life living, then all of the lives of these beautiful and amazing people would be considered worthless.  In fact, my own life which is filled abundantly with earthly riches would be considered worthless because they never satisfy.  My eyes have been opened--human beings are inexplicably valuable.  I want to devote my life to valuing life.  I will do this through love.  Without fear, I will reach loving hands into the dirt, through the pain, and at the risk of infectious diseases to meet the valuable human being on the other end with love.  It really isn't a sacrifice because so often in lending a hand--a hand reaches back.  Even if I am left standing empty-handed in the dirt and pain, I know that my God (Love)'s hand is constantly extended to me.  Through and because of His love, I will love.  I refuse to leave the hopeless without hope.