5/29/13

Working as a caregiver at a senior home is not always easy.  Sometimes I do not want to get squirted by colostomy juices, catch throwup, get cussed at by angry and confused dementia patients, get soaked while trying to give showers, or clean up more feces.  Some days my back aches, my feet are swollen, and my skin has broken out from stress and sweat.  All that being said, every day, I experience moments that remind me why I love what I do. 

Tonight, I stood by a beloved friend as he lay on his deathbed.  This is the same man that nicknamed me his "Little Sweetheart" and told me two weeks earlier when I was leaving for vacation that he "might be dead" when I got back because he was going to miss me so much.  As I helped him to bed tonight, my heart hurt to see him so emaciated and in such pain.  Sometimes I wonder, WHY?  I asked him if there was anything else that he needed before I left; he looked right into my eyes and said "LOVE."  Right then and there, I knew why.  I hugged him, kissed him, rubbed his back, and told him that I loved him.  I pray that he gets to be with Jesus soon experiencing His perfect love.  And in the meantime, I feel so honored to be able to share some of God's amazing love!

"We love because He first loved us." --1 John 4:19

"Love never fails." --1 Corinthians 13:8

5/26/13

Taking off and landing are my favorite parts of flying.  I like turbulence too.  Everything inside me embraces the lack of control as my stomach flip flops and my whole body gravitates.  In these moments, I am able to fully trust; it is my only hope.  I can freak out, or I can trust in God who promises me a hope and a future. 

As I ascend into the billowy clouds and look out at the ground below, I realize just how small I am.  To try to live a life in which I build myself up seems like foolishness as I will never achieve it.  Rather, I want to do my part to love whoever, wherever, and whenever because love spreads.  Living for my own significance would leave me nothing more than a speck on the ground.  However, if I can be a part of love, maybe just maybe, it will it will change the world one heart at a time.  Ghandi once said, "Be the change that you want to see in the world."  I want to see a world filled with people that love.  That being said, I want to use my hands, my heart, my everything to love each and every person that I encounter.

My plane begins its descent, and I am reminded that this journey is coming to an end.  I feel a little bit sad because it means that goodbyes have been said to loved ones and my vacation is coming to an end. However, the sadness is not as severe as it once would have been because this is only the start to a whole new journey that God is inviting me to.  I am ready to trust, lose control, and follow the voice of love as it beckons me to touch one life at a time.

Thank you for being a part of my journey!  Amo te!